Free Query Letter Critiques!

Did you know I offer the chance for FREE query letter and first page feedback to all my newsletter subscribers?

Recently, I gave feedback on an author’s query and first pages. She had been querying for months and receiving nothing but form rejections or no responses.

After making the changes I suggested, she got a full request from a traditional indie publisher… and then they offered her a book deal! My methods work, people. They really do. 

If you would like a chance to receive feedback on your query letter and first page, there are two easy steps:

1. Subscribe to my writing resources newsletter on Substack. A free subscription gets you two posts a month full of great tips and resources, no matter where you are on the journey to publishing. 
2. Fill out the following Query Guru form to submit your materials. You do not have to be a paid subscriber to receive feedback, though you do have to be a paid subscriber to read the feedback I give to others.

You can go back and read all my past Query Guru posts, because the advice I give to others might also speak to you. And, if you’re looking for a comprehensive guide to how to write the query letter in the first place, read on. 

Your Query Letter Better Be Good

Agents receive a lot of queries. They might sign one or two new authors a year, but they might receive a hundred queries a week. Yikes. The odds aren’t exactly in your favor. Which is why it’s important to write an excellent query letter that stands out from the crowd.

So how do you do that? Well, first, read my suggestions below on how to write a stand-out query letter.

Once you’ve written your query, get feedback from other writers. You can also send your query letter to me for a chance to receive FREE feedback on both your query letter and the first page or two of your manuscript. For the chance at a free critique, fill out this Query Guru form.

How to Write a Stand-Out Query Letter:

A query letter should be approximately one page, single-spaced, block formatting, in an easy-to-read font. Aim for 250 words and don’t go over 350 words.

Your query letter should include these five elements (in this general order):

1. Personalization

Customize (briefly!!) for the particular agent. This can be a simple one sentence that shows you are querying them specifically. For example, you could mention that you…

• met them or heard them speak at a conference
• listened to or read an interview they did
• are a referral from one of their other clients (only if this is true!)
• read on their website or Manuscript Wishlist that they are looking for the type of book you’ve written
• feel you would be a good match because… [insert specific, non-creepy reason]

Don’t overthink this! It can be as simple as, “I read on Manuscript Wishlist that you enjoy dark thrillers with a hint of supernatural, so you may enjoy my manuscript.”

2. What you’re selling

You want to be upfront about your genre/category, word count, and title (in all-caps). If you’re not sure about your genre, do some research then give it your best, educated guess. Think of other books similar to yours and see what genre they are described as in book reviews, the publisher’s website, or other online sources.

Genre examples include: romance, psychological thriller, literary fiction, YA contemporary, MG fantasy, picture book, etc. You can get incredibly specific with genre, or play it safe and stay general.

3. Brief summary/pitch

This is a mini-summary of your novel, like what you’d read on the back cover or jacket-flap of a published book. This is the main event of your query. For fiction, it should definitely take up the most real estate, and no matter what it should be clear, concise, and SPECIFIC.

I know it’s hard to condense your entire book into a few short paragraphs, so don’t try to include everything. It’s okay to leave out subplots; it’s okay to simplify the story in the name of not confusing the agent. The point is to make the agent want to read your novel, not to explain every nitty-gritty detail.

• Aim for 100-200 words for the summary. (Again, the entire query should be 1 page or less.) Picture book summaries are often shorter.
• Short paragraphs are helpful! Think about an agent reading a hundred of these a week, probably on their phones on the subway. Make it easy on their poor eyes and brains!
• Introduce the main character(s), main conflict, and stakes, but don’t give away ending.
• Try to end the summary with some version of “______ must ______, or else _______.”
• Write in the present tense.
• Make your story sound amazing and show that you write well.
• Consider whether or not to use comparative titles. If you do, try for comp titles published in the last five years. (You can also use movies and TV shows as comps.) 
• You can inject voice/tone (for example if your book is humorous, try for some humor in your query), but at the end of the day, this is a business letter. Don’t do anything cutesy, creepy, or unprofessional.
• BE SPECIFIC about what happens in your story. Avoid vagueness or generalities like “this is a story of love and loss” or “when tragedy strikes, Jane must rediscover herself.” Tell us the tragedy and how she goes about rediscovering herself. What action does she take? What choices must she make? What’s the story?
• Don’t be afraid to give away big twists, secrets, or reveals if it will make your book stand out!
• Avoid explanation of theme and/or how readers will feel when they read your book.
• If you are writing nonfiction (including memoir) you should include in your pitch the target audience and why this book is important/necessary.

4. Bio

This is your professional “credentials” and should go at the end unless your bio is so impressive and/or important to the story that an agent should know about you upfront.

Less is usually more when it comes to fiction (where the emphasis should be on the story itself not the author), but if you are writing nonfiction, you will need a more comprehensive bio to show you have the right knowledge and experience to write this particular book.

Things you can include your bio:

• MFA or other writing/English degree
• Pertinent degree/experience. For example, if you are a teacher writing for young people or a retired doctor writing a medical thriller, say so. If you are a librarian or work at a bookstore, mention that — it shows you know about books!
• Stories, articles, or books you’ve published
• Why you are the perfect person to write this book
• The inspiration for the story, but keep it short
• For fiction, only mention blog, platform, or social media presence if truly impressive. For nonfiction, you should include your platform and how you will reach your target audience.    

5. Closing

Here is where you briefly thank the agent for their time and sign off. Then, be sure to include whatever it is they asked for, in whatever way they asked for it.

Many agents, for example, want you to paste the first 5 or 10 manuscript pages directly into the body of the email underneath your query letter. Other agents use submission forms where you either paste the pages into the form or upload a Word doc. Carefully read the instructions on the agency website to make sure you’re following directions because all agents ask for slightly different things.

In fact, some agents have specific ways they want you to format the subject line of the query email. Check, double check, and triple check (did you spell the agent’s name right??) before hitting send.

Some Query Letter Do’s and Don’ts:

• Don’t compare your book to major bestsellers.
• Do consider using comparative titles, but only if they make sense and truly help explain your novel. It can be helpful to try something like, “my novel is a multiple POV mystery like _______, but with the dark academia vibes of _______.
• Don’t say how much friends/family/critique partners love your book.
• Don’t say how long you’ve been working on the book, or how many rejections you’ve already received.
• Do get writer friends to give you feedback on your query, including people who haven’t read your book!
• Don’t be self-deprecating or self-aggrandizing in the query.
• Do mention if the novel has been reviewed by a sensitivity reader.
• Don’t query a novel you’ve already self-published.
• Do keep the query letter to one book only, even if you imagine this as a series or have other finished projects. You can, however, write, “This is a stand-alone novel with series potential.”

Here is the query letter that got me my agent. It clocks in at 326 words. You can also go here for more example queries.

Dear Ms. Lake,

Thank you so much for liking my #MoodPitch tweet! In looking at your #MSWL, it seems we’d be a good fit, so I’m querying with my YA paranormal suspense, NOT MYSELF TODAY (81,000 words), in which a girl becomes possessed by a ghost with dissociative identity disorder. 

High school senior Natalie doesn’t believe in witchcraft. But in a desperate attempt to find her missing friend, Lorna, she agrees to do a midnight ritual with Lorna’s ex. It doesn’t seem to work, but in the weeks that follow Natalie starts sleepwalking. One night she blacks out at a party and wakes up hours later in the backseat of a stranger’s car with three hundred dollars in her purse and a new contact in her phone.

As she investigates what happened during those lost hours, she becomes convinced the ritual opened her up to the spirit world, and that she’s being possessed by a ghost. A ghost who is plotting a murder. And that this is all somehow connected to her missing friend. Now Natalie must use witchcraft to exorcise the spirit and save Lorna before she blacks out again… and someone ends up dead.

NOT MYSELF TODAY combines the psychological thriller tone of Kit Frick’s I Killed Zoe Spanos with the witchy vibes of teen movie The Craft. Other comp titles include The Door to January by Gillian French and All Our Hidden Gifts by Caroline O’Donoghue.

I am a former high school math teacher with my BA in Psychology and my MFA in Fiction Writing. My short stories have been published in literary magazines and nominated for the Pushcart Prize. I was previously represented by an agent (for a different novel), but he is no longer agenting. NOT MYSELF TODAY was reviewed by a sensitivity reader with a DID diagnosis. 

Thanks so much for your time, and thanks again for the “like.” I have pasted the first 10 pages below. 

Sincerely,

Eva Langston

For more info on querying, check out my video, or read my article on Jane Friedman: What I Learned from 90 Queries. Don’t forget to try for your chance at a free Query Guru Critique, and I also offer paid query feedback services here.